Tuesday March 5, 2013

Official McCookies.

Today the boys are going on a field trip with me to the new police station and fire house. They are having an open house for the town and I guess half the town will be there. After that its off to see grandma.

I’m finding it hard to develop motivation for unpacking today. The kitchen is done in thanks to my sister, the boy’s room, and living room. Currently that is sufficient. The kids have fun hiding behind all the boxes and making little hiding places with them so I figure I am doing them a service by leaving the boxes untouched. The homesick part of me wants to keep the curtains drawn and not leave the house in hopes to pretend I am not so far away from home, but my mind doesn’t seem to be believing it. It isn’t home yet here, just “the house”.

Yesterday, Danny had a moment where he realized that we really had moved away from everyone. We were unpacking the toys from Ooma and Papa’s house and he got excited at first and said, “Oh! These are the toys Ooma packed for our house because….” and his eyes got wide and it was as if I could see the thought click in his brain that we wouldn’t be at their house two or three times a week anymore. It’s hard to watch that moment in my child.

In other ways I am reminded of my childhood. Austin is able to come home for lunch and it reminds me of my dad coming home when I was a kid. Or the boys sliding down on their bottoms down the stairs, unaware still of how much more fun it is to slide down in baskets or other plastic things like their Uncle Joe and I used to do on our basement stairs in Lincoln. So far, they have only gotten in trouble once for trying to crab crawl head first down the stairs.

Another reminder was on the first evening here after my family had left. I couldn’t seem to get myself to stop crying. Austin decided to take us on a slow tour in the car of McCook, so proud of the town, and I found myself silently giggling remembering the numerous times that Grandma and Grandpa would drive a weary Joe and I around telling us every minute detail of the town. Next, it was off to feed the ducks; another fond childhood memory of mine. The boys had so much fun and it was interesting, to say the least, to watch them do this activity that I used to do.

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The last few days have been emotionally exhausting, but as my mom said, the weekend leading up to this we will never forget and it was an awesome farewell.Richie's first time swimming. The water was cold!Daddy and Danny Aunt Jess and Danny Ooma and Papa First book at the new house. PapaAt Loop's Brewing Company imageimage imageimage IMG_3324

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3 thoughts on “Tuesday March 5, 2013

  1. Reblogged this on Love Amid the Great Plains and commented:

    Today, WordPress informed me that it was the anniversary of when I blogged my first post.

    If only they knew how emotionally loaded that notification would be.

    I was a little weary of going back and reading the post. I knew it would remind me of how very homesick I was and how much my heart ached after moving here away from my family.

    But, alas, I did.

    It was a very bitter sweet feeling. It did remind of how homesick I was and how my heart hurt, and still does. I don’t know if I will ever truly feel like this is where home lies, because there is such wisdom in the saying, “Home is where the heart is”.

    My heart is still on the other side of the state with the rest of my family. It doesn’t mean I don’t like here, even though I’m aware I complain constantly. I do like it here. I like it for my husband, who started the career he has always wanted. I like it for my boys, and the experience they get by living in a small town. I love the education they receive. I love all the little quirks of small town living that you would probably never even hear of in a bigger city. (When exactly is, “Bring Your Tractor to School Day”, again?) And of course, I love all the new friends I have made, because without you guys I think I would be down right miserable.

    I love feeding the ducks.

    I love walking three blocks to “downtown” to watch the latest parade.

    I love how people feel like you are family after mentioning who your parents and grandparents are, simply because of having roots in the town.

    I love, love, love, the special education team that works with Richie.They have affected the core of my family in the best way possible. Without them, I’m pretty sure we would be lost as to what was going on in our little guy’s head, but they gave us the window to see in.

    I love that it only takes 2 minutes to drive across town.

    I love the police department, because it was many of those people and their families that have introduced us to the small things about McCook that I may have never known. They helped us move in, hauled the furniture up and down flights of stairs. Their kids have babysat our kids, they have driven by my house at night when my husband was away at the academy to make sure all was well, they have listened when I have been homesick, they have helped me come up with cool gifts for Austin, and they have always been able to point me in the right direction whenever I’ve had a question.

    So, am I still homesick? Yeah.

    Does my heart still hurt? Absolutely.

    Did this notification make me go back and realize how much life has changed this last year and how although I carry around this homesickness in my heart, how we’ve come a pretty long ways? Yep.

    The boys are doing so well.

    I am so proud of Austin becoming a police officer, and volunteer firefighter that I think my heart may burst.

    And me? Well, I am THIS much closer to my degree.

    One year ago today, I sat down with a heavy heart and started writing about our journey to McCook, scared, sad, and unsure on what the future held.

    Today, I write with more assurance on what life has in store for us, for me, and if I want to be incredibly honest with myself, it’s not that bad looking.

    Like

  2. I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I looked at those pictures you posted and it made me very sad that I was not apart of any of it. I’m glad that you were able to get the help you needed for Richie and to some degree become more comfortable in McCook. I am looking for a time for me to come out to see all of you.

    Like

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